An appreciation for Agency: Bed Rest vs. House Arrest

Somedays being on bed rest feels like house arrest.

Here is what Wiki defines “Bed Rest” and “House Arrest” as:

Bed rest is a medical treatment involving a period of consistent (day and night) recumbence in bed. It is used as a treatment for an illness or medical condition, especially when prescribed or chosen rather than resulting from severe prostration or imminent death. Even though most patients in hospitals spend most of their time in the hospital beds, bed rest more often refers to an extended period of recumbence at home. Some clinicians now regard bed rest as being at best neutral to outcome, and in some cases potentially harmful to patients.[1]

House Arrest: In justice and lawhouse arrest is a measure by which a person is confined by the authorities to his or her residenceTravel is usually restricted, if allowed at all. House arrest is a lenient alternative to prison time or juvenile-detention time.

While house arrest can be applied to common criminal cases when prison does not seem an appropriate measure, the term is often applied to the use of house confinement as a measure of repression by authoritarian governments against political dissidents. In that case, typically, the person under house arrest does not have access to means of communication. If electronic communication is allowed, conversations will most likely be monitored. With certain units, the conversations of criminals can be directly monitored via the unit itself.

They sound pretty similar to me. One is medical and one is judicial. Bed rest might not be jail, but it’s very confining. No electronic motoring just the life or death of your child.

But what it really comes down to is agency and that it’s being taken away from you. It’s hard when a doctor tells you that you need to be on bedrest. I wasn’t sure what to expect when put on bed rest five weeks ago.

Now let’s be honest here, I’m 33 weeks pregnant there is two feet of snow outside and I really wouldn’t be out and about doing a whole lot. But it’s more the fact that the choice isn’t mine, that that choice has been made for me.

The concept of agency or free will has been to topic of my research today. I’m LDS and believe that “In the premortal life, Heavenly Father presented His plan, which included the principle of agency. Lucifer rebelled and “sought to destroy the agency of man” (Moses 4:3).”

I like what Thomas S. Monson says about agency being a gift from God “We brought with us that great gift from God—our agency. Said the prophet Wilford Woodruff: “God has given unto all of His children … individual agency.”

The last weeks on bed rest have made me appreciate that we do have agency. I have a new appreciation for agency and making my own choices. Funny how in life things have to be taken away from us to appreciate them, doesn’t it?

It’s also made me ralize that even though I need to be resting with my feet up that I DO STILL HAVE AGENCY. I have a choice to make every. I can choose how I respond to bed rest. Am I bitter about it or do I feel blessed? Some moments I get blue and feel like I’m missing out on adventures, like on Friday when Jon took our son to see Santa. But 90% of the time I feel blessed that we have great doctors that are monitoring us and have plan in place.

I will gladly be on bed rest for another 7 weeks if it means the health of our daughter. Plus, I bet people on house arrest don’t get to snuggle with their 3 year old son and watch cartoons on a daily basis :)

What are your thoughts on agency? Am I way off?

Baby Girl Update

Dear family and friends,

Thank you for all your prayers, meals, books and support this past week. The outpouring of love has been a strength that has carried us out of doubt and fear to a place where we feel calm and comforted.

Our son has been giving his sister strong instructions, “Baby girl, stay inside and keep cooking”. Looks like she’s listening.

Good news – Our doctor visit yesterday with the Maternal Fetal Medicine went well. Baby girl is stable and the cervical length is unchanged. Wahoo! She looked very cozy during our ultrasound and we even got to see her in 3-D, her little arm is resting under her chin just like how her mama sleeps (attached). We think she looks like her big brother.

After the ultrasound we were then admitted to the hospital for monitoring: to check for contractions and be given a steriod shot for her lungs. Besides a sudden need to play baseball, both the baby and I are fine. There were no contractions. We had originally thought I’d have to stay there for 48 hours for monitoring while they administered the shots, but we were there for about 2 hours and then I will go back this afternoon.

Moving forward – We will go back in two weeks for another check and continue with doctor visits every one to two weeks. The doctors have been very helpful and informative this time and we feel they are communicating and working with us on a game plan.

It looks like she will very likely come early. So at least Jonah will be happy to not have to share his birthday. We would like to get to 36 weeks but are shooting for 34 weeks, which is 5 weeks away. I will continue on bed rest for the next 5-11 weeks.

Please continue to pray for our family and keep us in your thoughts.

Thank you for your love and support,

Jon, Kathy, J and Baby Girl
Baby Girl Dalon 3-D

Bed Rest Must Haves

Hi Friends, I’m starting two lists of must haves:
1. Bed Rest Must Haves and 2. Preparing for Preemie.

I’d love any feedback on things that helped you survive bed rest and how you prepared for a preemie.

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